Quiana Nicholson recalled learning a valuable lesson in compassion from her 5-year-old daughter.

“I had a difficult pregnancy, and my daughter came in and checked in on me,” she said. “Even if it was early in the morning, she’d come in and cover me up.”

The child showed one of 49 character qualities that help determine a person’s success, said Chris Coker, a consultant/trainer with Character First!.

Coker discussed the character qualities with about 15 Muskogee School patrons and parents during a Parent University sponsored by the Muskogee Character Council and held at Sadler Arts Academy.

Coker defined character as “the inward motivation to do what’s right in any situation, according to the highest standards of behavior, regardless of the cost.”

“Who we are under pressure reveals character,” he said. “When pressure hits, do we blow up and act irresponsibly with negative words?”

Coker encouraged parents to spend time and resources instilling character in their families.

Using a tree as an example, Coker said character forms the roots of the tree while the resulting behavior is the fruit of the tree.

Loyalty bears the fruit of strong relationships.

Truthfulness results in a good reputation.

Cautiousness results in a safe environment.

Self-control results in a healthy lifestyle.

Deference results in family unity.

Coker said deference means “I am willing to give up some of my freedom so I do not offend the tastes of others.”

He used his son’s blaring stereo as an example. When the son turns down his stereo when someone comes into his room, the son is showing deference, Coker said.

The speaker challenged the parents to get books on character and have their children read about such leaders as Abraham Lincoln and George Washington.

Parents also should praise family members when character is shown, and correct family members when character is disregarded.

Such praise goes beyond praising for achievement, he said.

For example, parents should not just praise and reward a child for making good grades, but praise the child for the diligence they showed in studying to make those good grades, he said. Coker had those present write the name of someone and the character trait they showed. Then he had them write a note of praise for a specific act that showed such character.

Nicholson said her daughter’s compassion helped her.

Jeff Dame praised his wife, Carla, for the way she teaches and relates to their grandchildren.

Coker said parents also must model the good character as well as discuss it and praise it.



Reach Cathy Spaulding at 918-684-2928 or Click Here to Send Email