I’m not buying anything from Dunkin’ Donuts again.

Actually, I haven’t bought a doughnut from Dunkin in 34 years. I broke up with a girl in a Dunkin back then, and I can’t stand to go into one again. I’m afraid I might get teary and turn a fresh doughnut soggy.

But I sure won’t go to a Dunkin now.

Dunkin’ Donuts pulled an Internet ad featuring Rachael Ray — that perky, dark-haired cookbook author — because a few political columnists say she and Dunkin directly or indirectly sympathized with terrorists.

Well, if Ray is a terrorist sympathizer, then my Croatian grandma, Draga, was a terrorist sympathizer, too.

Grandma Draga often wore a babushka. I didn’t know Grandma Draga. She died when I was a baby, but I have family photos of her chubby, Balkan face framed by a babushka.

My mom, too, wore a babushka — a scarf — but only when she went to church. Even for a long time after the Catholic Church relaxed the rule that women should have their heads covered, my mother wore a scarf.

So if Grandma Draga and my mother were alive, they would have to be careful someone didn’t confuse them with terrorists or terrorist sympathizers because they wore babushkas.

You see, Dunkin pulled the Internet ad in which Ray promoted the company’s coffee. In the ad, Ray wore a scarf — a black-and-white one — around her neck with the ends dangling down her torso.

The fringed scarf was very stylish, and I thought Ray looked rather chic.

But two political commentators said the scarf looked like a keffiyeh, a head scarf like the one Palestinians wear, and especially, the one Yasser Arafat wore.

The commentators, especially Fox News commentator Michelle Malkin, said Ray looked as if she were promoting a jihad against America with the Dunkin’ Donuts ad.

Dunkin scoffed at the connection at first.

But worried about customers who might buy into the absurd threat, Dunkin pulled the ad.

OK, Dunkin, you have the backbone of a soggy doughnut.

And Malkin, Dunkin’s logo color is pink. Does that mean Dunkin supports gay marriage?

The pink might be a subliminal message for us to drop our heterosexual mates for spouses of the same gender.

And you know, too, Malkin, Dunkin gives away free iced coffee — the same coffee the keffiyeh-wearing Rachael Ray was pictured with — every day after the Boston Red Sox win a game.

The iced coffee really isn’t free. You have to buy a sandwich or pizza to get it, but is Dunkin covertly trying to convert us all into Red Sox fans?

And here’s something else to consider.

Dunkin has a Napkin Note promotion, in which Dunkin encourages us to send friends Dunkin Napkin Notes and “make them feel a little better.”

Ah, but Dunkin’s not fooling people like Malkin. Terrorists have trouble communicating on the Web nowadays, so they’ve switched to communicating with Dunkin Napkin Notes.

That Dunkin has all sorts of hidden agendas we must guard against.

I don’t go into a Dunkin store anymore anyway.

When my girlfriend jilted me in a Dunkin years ago, I told the Dunkin clerk my woes. She wasn’t sympathetic.

“Hey, you’ve got your troubles, bub. I’ve got mine,” she said.

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